EXT. RANDOM ROCKY WASTELAND
A bunch of dudes in bodysuits suddenly appear. Enter RANGERS.
RED RANGER: It’s morphin time!
ORANGE: ARGENTINOSAURUS!
RED: UTAHRAPTOR!
PINK: GIGANOTOSAURUS!
PURPLE: SINOSAUROPTERYX!
GREEN: PALAEOBATRACHUS!
Music playing: GO GO Obscure Rangers! GO GO Obscure Rangers! GO GO Obscure Rangers… Mighty Morphin Obscure Rangeeeeeeers. Music stops.
RED RANGER: (talking while doing random karate poses cause it’s not like he needs to save energy for a battle or anything) You’re goin’ down! (It takes him 50 moves to say this)
They do a bunch of moves while barely touching the BODYSUIT ARMY until they all disappear for some reason
PINK RANGER: And don’t you forget it! (it takes her 65 karate moves to say this)
ORANGE RANGER: That’s what happens when you mess with the Obscure Rangers! (it takes him 289 karate moves to make this mild threat to no one cause they all disappeared)
Suddenly a woman made of MARSHMALLOWS and BOOBS shows up
MARSHBOOB: The battle has only begun Obscure Rangers! (She points one finger menacingly at the Obscure Rangers because she is literally covered in marshmallows and boobs and has zero fine motor skills)
The OBSCURE RANGERS look scared for 2 seconds. Then they talk about what to do using 651 karate moves. Finally they make some dumb sword-gun to throw at MARSHBOOB. She is defeated for 4 seconds and then grows into a giant monster
MARSHBOOB: AHAHAHAHAHAHAA (She waddles menacingly through a mountain range that seemingly came out of nowhere)
RED RANGER: We need Zord Power! (It only takes him 5 karate moves to say this because he’s probably realized he should conserve some energy)
DINOSAUR ZORDS pop out of the ground like they came straight from the gates of hell and make a badass entrance. PALAEOBATRACHUS ZORD hops up to join them because it’s a FUCKING FROG. OBSCURE RANGERS jump up and land perfectly in their ZORDS despite the obvious lack of visible doors.
RED RANGER: It’s time for Obscure Megazord!
Music playing: GO GO Obscure Rangers! GO GO Obscure Rangers! GO GO Obscure Rangers… Mighty Morphin Nobody Knows Who The Fuck You Are Rangeeeeeeers. Music stops.
It takes 10 seconds to bring tons of complex machinery together into a giant robot with 2 easily tripable legs. They summon a weapon from the sky and take out MARSHBOOB with one hit. Marshmallow gets everywhere.
GREEN RANGER: That’s what happens when you mess with the Obscure Rangers! (It takes him 879 karate moves to make this taunt to someone who is now dead because the GREEN RANGER feels neglected and insignificant BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING FROG)
END SCENE
Author’s note: I’d like to thank countless hours of Power Rangers and Dinosaur Train for being the inspiration for this post.
